For the first time since departing our home port it seems that folks onboard can finally start to see a small glimmer of light on the horizon. The night that has been the constant rocking of the ship, the never-ending hours of watches stood in the darkness of combat, the same rotation of the compacted life underway. The wake-up to get dressed out, the chow, the watch, the maintenance, the workout or relax, then hit your rack for the 4-5 hours that you're grateful for. Rinse & repeat.
Sometimes when we hit a port I find myself with so much free time that I'm exhausted before the night is over. One finds themselves locked into a cycle that once entered is not noticed until a couple days, a week, then finally a month whirs by quite painlessly...in almost a anesthetic kind of way. That is the nice thing about such a dependable cycle. Though, once you get back into the daily ventures of home, you start asking yourself "How in the hell did I live like that?".
This habit, this...life...isn't really life. It's the answer to the question I keep asking myself; "How the hell did I end up at 30? Last time I checked I was still getting over the fact that I was 27." I feel that just "passing the time", is slowly letting life happen to me without my realizing it. This isn't just about Carpe Diem, this is about gaining control of my life and doing more than just standing a watch, or attending useless training, or counting down the days until I get to play with my daughter again.
My job doesn't make me feel like I'm doing something for the greater good anymore, of course I also thought I was joining the Navy circa 1942. When the enemy had a face and everything was on the line. People in America then would commit suicide if they were deemed unfit or too unhealthy to join the service. Today, people complain if too harsh of a word is used, they complain about being treated equally then become pregnant before deployment begins to get out of it, they question everything to a point where the leadership can't get anything done. It sickens me to think that this is where we are after so many years.
Sorry about the random tangent, but this is an underway blog.
Since homecoming has gotten closer, my homecoming dreams are starting to become more frequent. I don't desire this because it always end with me waking up to disappointment in my coffin-for-a-bed.
It will be a glorious day regardless.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
I always believe in Futures
A quick note on post-naval thoughts. I received an email the other day stating, pending funding, that there was a job opening up with Lockheed Martin at Surface Combat Systems Center, Wallops Island....or as most folks in the Navy refer to it, "The Fleet in the Sand".
I initially wrote back to the Lockheed Martin recruiter that I would just like some more information on the job, does it pay well, are the benefits good, is the travel at a minimum? General information that I could digest. I was sure to mention that my current plans are to attend school to finish my bachelors degree, but I would consider the job if the pay was convincing enough. That number would have to be substantial for me to consider giving up 6 year's worth of planning and anticipation.
Though, looking up the area that it was in was proving to be very enticing. A small area, a faculty of only around 300 people (military and civilian), local schools, and the ability to keep my clearance and connection to the Navy.
The adult trying to come out in me is telling me that I should strongly consider this job to support my new family, which altogether isn't a bad idea at all if it pays well. I suppose though that I'll wait until I am able to call the L-M recruiter to find out what kind of salary I would be looking at first.
Going back to school to finish something I started and get into a new career in the Recording Industry, or going on to a radar electronics career that I know will probably set me up for life?
I initially wrote back to the Lockheed Martin recruiter that I would just like some more information on the job, does it pay well, are the benefits good, is the travel at a minimum? General information that I could digest. I was sure to mention that my current plans are to attend school to finish my bachelors degree, but I would consider the job if the pay was convincing enough. That number would have to be substantial for me to consider giving up 6 year's worth of planning and anticipation.
Though, looking up the area that it was in was proving to be very enticing. A small area, a faculty of only around 300 people (military and civilian), local schools, and the ability to keep my clearance and connection to the Navy.
The adult trying to come out in me is telling me that I should strongly consider this job to support my new family, which altogether isn't a bad idea at all if it pays well. I suppose though that I'll wait until I am able to call the L-M recruiter to find out what kind of salary I would be looking at first.
Going back to school to finish something I started and get into a new career in the Recording Industry, or going on to a radar electronics career that I know will probably set me up for life?
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Singapore Sucks
Listening to: Mumford & Sons - Little Lion Man
It's been a little while since I've last written on this blog, so I need to apologize about that. Been up to my neck in all sorts of tasks, also attempting to keep my mind from wandering too much back to San Diego. That tends to happen when I write here, I start thinking about how nice it would be to be back in the low-humidity of that desert city.
In my entire time stationed out of Yokosuka, Japan, Singapore seemed like a bit of a mystery. All the ships had visited there, even some of the crew from Shiloh who at the time were based on the Chancellorsville before they hull-swapped. They would always talk about it, and how much fun it was.
So this past port I was able to see what all the hub-bub was about. It's the Chinese version of America....except a hell of a lot more expensive, not to mention all the insane laws they have. Just do a search for "Singapore Laws" on Google if you want a bit of a culture shock. I was afraid to carry a Red Bull in my backpack for fear of getting the "CANE" for God's sake!
In better news, we're more than halfway through this deployment! Unfortunately it seems like a bittersweet distant memory that I said goodbye to Laura and Shelby on that pier. It was be pure bliss when I get to see them again. Hell, I even miss the way Shelby would ask to "Play birds on your phone?", hehe. My God, how I miss them. So, here's to hoping that the next space of time goes by quickly enough...
It's been a little while since I've last written on this blog, so I need to apologize about that. Been up to my neck in all sorts of tasks, also attempting to keep my mind from wandering too much back to San Diego. That tends to happen when I write here, I start thinking about how nice it would be to be back in the low-humidity of that desert city.
In my entire time stationed out of Yokosuka, Japan, Singapore seemed like a bit of a mystery. All the ships had visited there, even some of the crew from Shiloh who at the time were based on the Chancellorsville before they hull-swapped. They would always talk about it, and how much fun it was.
So this past port I was able to see what all the hub-bub was about. It's the Chinese version of America....except a hell of a lot more expensive, not to mention all the insane laws they have. Just do a search for "Singapore Laws" on Google if you want a bit of a culture shock. I was afraid to carry a Red Bull in my backpack for fear of getting the "CANE" for God's sake!
In better news, we're more than halfway through this deployment! Unfortunately it seems like a bittersweet distant memory that I said goodbye to Laura and Shelby on that pier. It was be pure bliss when I get to see them again. Hell, I even miss the way Shelby would ask to "Play birds on your phone?", hehe. My God, how I miss them. So, here's to hoping that the next space of time goes by quickly enough...
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